Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
