can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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