I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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