Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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