I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize