Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
