I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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