Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
