I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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