sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize