This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
