Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
