She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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