Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize