What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
