My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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