what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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