I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
