we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
