I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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