i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
