Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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