I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
