Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
