Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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