how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
