Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
