So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
