so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
