why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
