the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
