Apparently you make a good broom.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
