I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize