By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
