the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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