he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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