Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize