I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
