I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
