Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The adults are the big ones right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
