What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
