So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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