I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
