I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize