if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
