Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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