Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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