Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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