But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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