; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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