K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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