I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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