Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
