You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
